MAGA 2022 Midterm Updates: The Perfect Election Doesn't Exi--

Come with me on this one, fellow diggers.

What is the purpose of an election?

Some cute, pleasant people still believe it is about Democracy (naw, bless ‘em).

Some more cynical, purple-pilled people might call it a Bread and Circuses distraction: that they are actually (s)elections — hehehe — designed to sell the illusion of Democracy to the Team Red/Blue-identified Plebs by chucking them a few scraps of Hope and Change within a fundamentally pre-determined process.

Let me stay true to my brand and step well over the line of acceptability by proposing this: elections are in fact a biennial-ish occult ritual designed to agitate both sides of the manufactured political dichotomy, further entrench them against each other, and — in doing so, ultimately — provide the necessary periodic offering of energetic sustenance to our spiritual overlords.

If elections are indeed mass loosh-harvesting rituals (if you aren’t open to that fact by now then you really shouldn’t be on these pages) — AND if we are to put ourselves (perhaps unadvisedly) into the shoes of the harvesters, we might ask ourselves the question: what would The Perfect Election look like?


It could, potentially, start off looking something like this.

Allow an unhinged Team Blue Elite — viewed by Team Red as fundamentally illegitimate (thanks to the previous loosh-harvesting ritual) — to wreak wilful havoc for two years — not just at home, but abroad: funding neo-Nazi-approved regimes fighting far-away proxy wars using taxpayer money laundered through a hilariously bad scam run by a man-boobed crypto bro whose last name is literally Bank Man Fried (the Simulation was pretty bold with this one, wasn’t it?).

The inevitable outcome of going “to the moon” when the moon is a human soul trap.

Next, as the Harvest approaches: to shape (using carefully sculptured quantitative data masquerading as objective polling) an apparent public sentiment that appropriately disapproves of Team Blue’s Hologram-in-Chief, leading to wild and fanciful delusions of red waves, tsunamis, bloodbaths etc. (YES I KNOW including your humble correspondent; in case you were wondering, I regret nothing and am linking again, here, in defiance.)

Then, keeping hopes briefly sustained, to give Team Red a cheap and meaningless early win (apologies to any of my readers from Guam but, well, it’s true), before reality inevitably hits.

Fool them once, RINOs

Then, finally, as was the plan all along, to leave any/all remaining MAGA hopes fixed squarely (Watch the Water anyone?) on the Great White Hope from Arizona — Orange Man in high heels and an androgynous haircut — only to dash those hopes, one suspiciously-protracted daily brutal ballot-dropping disappointment ritual at a time.

Maricopa? More like MAGA-cope-a amirite.

Depends which Arizonans you are referring to, Kari.

Thus, as the Red Lake slowly evaporated into a dismal, pink-tinged puddle — as the Red Wave reveals itself to be not an illusion, but instead comprised of patriotic conservative tears — cue loosh-creating meltdown: Recriminations (Ron Desanctimonious though, just when I think i’m done with Orange Man he tempts me back), Despair, Disillusionment… and, ultimately (hopefully, in our silver lining timeline) collective pledges from Team Red Plebs to finally exit the Beast system and all its false electoral trappings — leaving control of the ritual to the jubilant, vindicated-in-their-Natural-Law-defying-duplicity Team Blue Elites and their jubilant, vindicated-in-their-smugness Team Blue Plebs.

Wait? Hmm. Something seems off here.

Don’t get me wrong: it’s impressive, for sure, albeit certainly nothing new or novel; creating expectation dissonance through significant variation between pre-election polling and election day voting is Loosh-Harvesting 101. Aren’t they supposed to lift it up a notch pre-Apocalypse?

But, and correct me if my logic seems astray: savagely removing all hope of change within the system, thus encouraging Team Red Plebs to exit the political ritual en-mass, joining their purple-pilled compatriots by going forth to off-the-grid rural acreage and joyously multiplying the number of healthily un-jabbed free range white babies, would be inherently self-defeating for the energy vampires, would it not?

So, at the risk of doing the Archon’s jobs for them, I feel compelled to point out the elephant in the room here: The Perfect Election requires something more — a sudden and dramatic late plot-twist, for the tables to be turned, just when it seems like the heist is complete… again.

It would, based on my Based reasoning, require the Team Red (Orange?) Elites to pull off their own last minute steal, snatching the Constitution from the jaws of Communism — with whatever means are deemed necessary to save the Republic — thus dragging the wavering Team Red Plebs back into a game that they suddenly find themselves winning.

It would, in other words, require an outcome that leaves both sides simultaneously believing that the other team cheated — that their agenda was the true one, the one worth defending from The Other at any cost — fostering irreparable divide between city and heartland, annihilating the Purple centre, and further escalating the already escalated Spiritual Culture Wars that (just another friendly reminder) are the necessary social conditions for the first of the Seven Seals to be unfolded.

More Hopium for a Coping MAGA-apologist? Or perhaps just a necessary reminder of how deep The Election Conspiracy runs?

Let’s see what happens frens 🍿🐸

The perfect Orange Saviour doesn’t exis—

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Wholesome White Kanye and Other Geopolitical Sunrise Rantings

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Red Waves, October Surprises, November Bloodbaths and Blood Moons