I Am Legend: Dispatches from the Germ Conspiracy

Conspirituality Movie Review #3: with bonus Orange Man arrest update.

Firstly, before we get down to business: oh boy, are they about to (try and) arrest Orange Man?

I’ve been trolling people on both sides about this possibility/probability for over a year: that The Don will be the first domino to fall, opening the floodgates for widespread political perp walks. It sounds great — and surely it will be, for a hot minute, that bloodlust release we all need — until it inevitably transforms into even more widespread political and religious witch-hunts as part of a cultural civil war that will set the stage perfectly for the upcoming unifying Anti-Christ.

Personally, I’m staying on board the MAGA train at least until I get my money from the 2020 election — but plan to be long gone before things starts going full Handmaid’s Tale meets 12 Monkeys.

Speaking of 12 Monkeys — that quintessential piece of Apocalyptic Viral Porn (AVP) featuring both Peak Bruce Willis and Peak Brad Pitt — on to The Germ Conspiracy.

Did you know that I made an almost 30 minute YouTube video looking at all the different ways Germ Theory propaganda is seeded into the collective consciousness?

It was the first formal instalment of The Coronaspiracy; it remains the only instalment, given I’m still trying to work out how to finish The Pasteur Conspiracy: the original intention was to end with the deathbed confession, where he renounces his life’s work and comes out of the terrain theorist closet, but the evidence to support it seems very lacking (not that i’m against a well-intentioned hoax). 

In the meantime, let’s take a look at another contender for the AVP Hall of Fame: I Am Legend.

Overall: not bad, although definitely no 12 Monkeys (the bar really was set unfairly high). That said, while undoubtedly the inferior movie, I Am Legend had the best solo performance (I realise that this is a huge call when we are up against Peak Bruce and Brad).

Wear that crown proudly King, you deserve it for putting up with this deranged lunatic 24/7.

But this conspirituality movie review isn’t about the tragic Hero’s Journey of Will Smith’s dog. Fuck, that scene was brutal. 

Will Smith was widely praised from the cultural Germ Theory elite for his performance, because of course they would: how better to sell a superstitious belief system to normies than a ripped black dude who can do shirtless chin-ups like dat.

However, any claims to knocking off Brad Pitt’s closet-terrain-theorist meets vegan-anarcho-troll from second place of the AVP podium are fatally undermined by the irredeemably cringe moment when he blasphemes against Bob Marley while trying to serenade the smoking hot Latina mum who mistakenly cooked his special bacon: 

“He had this idea, kind of a virologist’s idea, he believed that you could cure racism and hate, literally cure it, by injecting music and love into people’s lives”

Lol, wtf? Leave Bob out of your mental illness, Will. Surely this is a new low by the Germ Inverters: hijacking reggae and Rastafarianism to support the Virologist’s inverted Hero’s Journey of saving humanity from nature. 

That’s not the only Germ Conspiracy lowlight here: I Am Legend doesn’t even try to be restrained about the type of shameless AVP it is dishing out. A miracle transhumanist wet dream cancer cure that evolves without any explanation into an air and skin borne pathogen with an over 90% infection fatality rate, with over 90% of the remainders turning into bloodthirsty zombies that will inevitably consume the helpless final remaining? 

It’s obviously complete malarkey, yet we have 20 minute videos like this, made by devout faithful, giving due concern and consideration to the plot’s possibility within the broader Germ Theory psy-op paradigm.

I thought maybe they would salvage some respect with a “last act on Earth before getting torn to shreds by respectably-low-budget-CGI-rendered zombies” sex scene between Will and the smoking hot Latina mum, but no: they went the safe asexual route (unless he was into his dog, who knows with these creeps).

Instead, we ended with… um, i’m not quite sure? 

Two endings are offered. The “alternate” one, which aligns with the original source material, makes a stab at redeeming basic humanity to the practice of virology by assisting us to empathise with the zombie victims of Will’s psychopathic experiments to find a cure. In fact, the general gist of the original book seems to be a damning inditement on how germ theorists perceive and “other” the unclean people who just want to live normal lives outside of their delusions.

Turns out, potential audiences weren’t keen on the ripped black virologist turning out to be the villain:

“… the reason the I Am Legend alternate ending was changed to the happier one seen in theaters after test audiences had intensely negative reactions to the conclusion where Neville (Ripped Will) has his villainous realization.”

So what is this crowd-pleasing happy ending? Ripped Will martyrs himself for the cause of Germ Theory, passing on the cure to smoking hot Latino (Latina?) mum, who then goes and joins the Edenic new colony of Man — God’s chosen survivors — who’s future civilisation will be founded around the memory of the heroic ripped black virologist.

FFS.

It almost seems too much of a brazen inversion to be true, even by Hollywood’s standards. So, in the spirit of duality that these Conspirituality Movie Reviews are undertaken in, let’s try and dig deeper.

Did they just throw all subtlety out the window, and — by turning the ripped deranged lunatic Will into a New World Prophet — come clean that the End Game is and always has always been to transition Germ Theory into the New World Order Religion?

Or, in a potential White Hat twist… did they just sneakily undermine and mock the worship of virology and its practitioners as equivalent to a religious cult — and, by choosing this ending, are they simply giving the Germ Conspiracy-believing masses the ending they want and deserve?

Or… is it a brilliant Revelation of the Method that hints at the upcoming role of religion and idol worship in a post-AVP world?

Could it be all of these, and more?

Have we found duality in Hollywood yet again?

Have we just closed the circle back to Orange Man and the religious fervour that is about to entrap America?

Oh boy.

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